C R I N K L E D   PA P E R

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There was a girl who's now forty-three,
she was ever so spunky, as spunky can be,
used to rip your tights right off your legs
and knock back Specials down to the dregs,
take your schoolbag, run off with it,
with no remorse, not even a bit.
Playing 'Grovel' with her, a rough card game,
was such a risk for she could maim,
toppling the desks like dominoes,
as she grabbed those cards in frenzied throes.

Now she is older, she's still as spunky,
she's still outspoken and she is funky,
she still knocks back her Special Brews,
it's more often vodka that she'll choose.
Today on her birthday, she'll be on form
and sensibility won't be the norm.
She'll whoop it up in typical Jane fashion
and fantastic fun won't be on ration.

So it is with enormous regret
that we won't be getting our whistle's wet,
tonight with you, Jane and all who are there,
we'll be thinking of you, because we care,
we hope you'll have a memberable do,
when Christmas is past, we'll make it up to you.